We’re surrounded by self-proclaimed successful men. Take a look at just about any Instagram page, and you’ll see men from all walks selling us on their greatness. They have the cars; they have the big homes, they have the enthusiasm, but are they truly happy? According to the Centers for Disease Control, 113 men committed suicide every day in 2015. There’s no hiding from the fact that men are being overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and defeat. Steve Miller is a man that’s trying to make a difference. He’s on a mission to build a legacy while inspiring his brethren to do the same. Steve is a thought leader; seasoned in his ability to unite men and form tribes. He’s a nonsense kind of person that seems to understand the primordial needs of a man and is masterful at expressing it.
Take a seat, grab a beer, and get inspired by this short discussion with one of the coolest fellows I’ve met in a while.
When and where were you born?
I was born in Brooklyn, New York on August 10, 1966.
How would you describe yourself in one sentence?
Determined to live a life of character while creating a wonderful life for my family.
How would you best describe your parents, and in what ways did they influence you?
Workaholics. They both had great hearts and pure intentions, but their priorities were out of alignment with what I would consider to be an important and meaningful life. They still managed to give me a good life but paid the ultimate price. I would have been happy with less material possessions in exchange for more quality time with them. I hate to say it, but they taught me how NOT to do it. I could have never learned this lesson any other way so I would not change a thing about them. It has provided me with a tremendous amount of awareness when it comes to how I am raising my two sons.
“Everyone should live in New York for at least one year in their life.”
What are some of your best childhood memories?
Growing up in New York. That alone is a cherished memory of mine. The seasons, the people, the energy … all gave me a perspective that has stayed with me all these years. Everyone should live in New York for at least one year in their life. Life is different there and should be experienced by all.
You created the well-received Facebook group; The Manly Club in March of 2017. What inspired this endeavor?
Most men get to a point in their lives where they feel a sense of accomplishment, not a final sense but a sense of having arrived at a good place. At that point, we start looking around for ways to further impact the world around us. The Manly Club is a manifestation of that.
The word: “masculinity” has become somewhat of a demonized term in recent times. Why do you think this is, and how can we change this declining cultural ethos of manhood in America and the rest of the world?
The world has deteriorated under our watch. We need to own that reality before anything else. Religion, politics and the male ego are a toxic recipe for disaster. We need to change the formula by bringing more women into power, letting go of our relentless pursuit of being right, strip religion and political correctness from our decision-making process and get back to basics.
“There was no plan, no course, and no meaning in my life … I simply drifted through the days.”
You’re a published author. Tell us a little about your journey as a writer.
My writing is a direct product of my desire to help other men find their way to becoming the man they know they are capable of being. I only write about self-betterment. I stick to that genre because it holds the most meaning for me. I can recall in vivid detail the years I spent on what I call “the drift.” Those years were spent in survival mode. There was no plan, no course, and no meaning in my life … I simply drifted through the days. That was wasted time—time I should have been spending building something of value and meaning. I don’t want others to suffer that same fate, so I write about ways to avoid it.
In what areas do you see young men struggling with the most, and what advice do you have that might help them to overcome these challenges?
Young men don’t spend enough time developing their self-awareness. They need to learn at an early age not only who they are and how their mind works but also their mission in life. Clarity of vision is power … a lot of young men simply lack vision. If they would spend more time and effort discovering themselves instead of chasing the next good time, they would craft a much better life for themselves.
“Too many men give up before they even reach mid-life.”
Moreover, in what areas do you see middle-aged men struggling with the most, and what advice do you have for them?
Too many men give up before they even reach mid-life. They stop reaching for more and settle for their limited existence. Fear is a dream killer. Most men that are stuck fear the uncertainty of risk, so they settle for safe. Many can reverse this by raising their risk tolerance through education and improving their tribe around them. Nothing will influence one’s ability more than understanding the meaning behind taking calculated risks along with a peer support group to encourage them as they take their journey.
How important is nutrition, and if we were to look at your eating habits, what would a typical day look like?
I have only recently learned the impact of nutrition on not only my body but my mental well being. It’s a major player but I never truly understood that. My focus, inspiration, energy, and vitality are determined in great part by the fuel I put in my body every day, so I make sure to load up on eggs, white meat, greens and plenty of water. I try to stay away from anything else other than almonds, cranberries, blueberries and dark chocolate. The final element of a clear and energetic mind is water … lot’s of water. I force-hydrate throughout the day. It makes all the difference in the world!
What are some daily habits or rituals you have that help you to stay motivated?
The three that serve me best are meditation, flow hacking, and goal anchoring. I start with a morning meditation so that I can start each day with a clean emotional slate.
During my morning meditation session, I focus on clearing out any and all residual thoughts and emotions from the previous day. This gives me a fresh and bright perspective and helps me move through my day with a calm sense of ease and confidence.
I use flow hacking to get myself into a flow in order to make my brief working sessions outrageously productive. I never work in long stretches. I break my day down into 20-minute bursts of work followed by 5 minutes breaks. I use a very simple timer. During the five minute breaks, I focus intently on goal anchoring. Goal anchoring is a process of visualizing and mentally engaging with specific goals in order to remain constantly anchored to them. When specific goals are kept in front of the mind’s eye, they provide all the inspiration and motivation I need to power through my day. Staying anchored to them all day has been critical to my long-term success.
“They were honest, sincere and incredibly fun and lighthearted … they possess all the qualities I strive for every day.”
Did you have any role models growing up? If so, what were some of their most memorable qualities?
My mentors were my role models. They were men of character, hard work, and complete devotion to their families. They took their legacy very seriously and lived their life accordingly. They scrutinized every moment and every action they took no matter how small in order to make sure they were living in accordance with their master plan. They were honest, sincere and incredibly fun and lighthearted … they possess all the qualities I strive for every day.
What do we need more (or less of) in the world?
More fathers and fewer dads. Specifically, more self-aware fathers that know how to keep their thoughts, emotions, and actions in alignment and can, therefore, teach this most important skill to their children.
“Embrace the suck.”
What are three maxims that will serve a man well throughout his life?
Embrace the suck.
You don’t have to like it; you just have to do it.
“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” -Confucius
What’s one of the best books you ever read, and what made it special?
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
It was a life-changing book for me. It taught me that life not only has meaning and purpose but I am in control of far more of it than I ever imagined.
Another important book is A Guide To The Good Life – The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine
This book provided me with a much-needed foundation that led me to craft a life philosophy around Stoicism. It’s a tremendous resource for anyone lacking direction in their life.
Business wise I would say that Rework by Jason Fried is the most important book any budding entrepreneur could read.
Lastly, what does a successful man look like to you?
A man that crafts his own definition of masculinity and success and then proceeds to live his life accordingly. Simple and without fanfare.
Bestselling author; Lewis Howes says that men aren’t broken—they’re trapped.
Many of us are following a script; one that prevents us from seeing what we’re really made of. Too many men are uninspired and jaded. We are losing the great battle of discovering our true masculine potential because we’ve bought into the modern ideologies of what real men are supposed to look like.
Men like Steve are choosing to live a life of substance and impact. He’s not trying to change anyone; he’s living by example. Steve is often the voice of reason and enthusiasm. He’s a “glass half full” kind of guy that is at his best when he’s serving others. I think this is a place where men shine the most. We were meant to be of service, and when we don’t fulfill this primal need, we wither.
I hope you enjoyed this Q&A with Steve Miller as much as I did. If you’re interested in joining The Manly Club, click here.
Be the man you were meant to be. Join the PUSHTHROUGH community. PLEASE SHARE THIS POST:
https://push-through.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Steve-Miller-QA-2.jpg6001000Patrick Nevehttps://push-through.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/PUSHTHROUGH-2018-sized.pngPatrick Neve2017-12-07 06:41:432017-12-23 09:56:23Q&A with Steve Miller